Wednesday, August 23, 2006
My Buddy, Phil
G'day boys and girls. Today I would like to take the opportunity to introduce you all to my friend and travel mate, Phil. It seems that now everybody I know is joining the blog game, Phil wants to join as well and contribute to my page to tell of his (our) adventures.
First off, a little about Phil. He comes from a big family (9 brothers), of which he's only really close to 4 of them. The other five are worlds different and really don't go with the flow...very "right-wing". Phil, and his 4 "leftist" brothers are more creative, taking time to write and do more detail oriented work. The righties just play sports and eat all the time.
So Phil is a mining engineer, like me, but has tried other jobs before. He's promised to publish some pictures of his other jobs at some point. Anyway, on some of our adventures, I'll let Phil tell the story and sometimes I'll tell the story. His perspective is a bit skewed, though, so if you have trouble relating I'll try to interject.
Before we go any further, I'd like to post a recent picture of Phil, taken in this very office that I'm writing from, a mere 10 minutes before we get the hell out of here for our most recent adventure.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Phil Anjie....please get the anatomical word play (phil-anjie...phalange...the bones of the finger!!! Come On, it's a good little pun. Oh, OK, I'm a jackass. But this is Phil, anyways)
G'day boys and girls. Today I would like to take the opportunity to introduce you all to my friend and travel mate, Phil. It seems that now everybody I know is joining the blog game, Phil wants to join as well and contribute to my page to tell of his (our) adventures.
First off, a little about Phil. He comes from a big family (9 brothers), of which he's only really close to 4 of them. The other five are worlds different and really don't go with the flow...very "right-wing". Phil, and his 4 "leftist" brothers are more creative, taking time to write and do more detail oriented work. The righties just play sports and eat all the time.
So Phil is a mining engineer, like me, but has tried other jobs before. He's promised to publish some pictures of his other jobs at some point. Anyway, on some of our adventures, I'll let Phil tell the story and sometimes I'll tell the story. His perspective is a bit skewed, though, so if you have trouble relating I'll try to interject.
Before we go any further, I'd like to post a recent picture of Phil, taken in this very office that I'm writing from, a mere 10 minutes before we get the hell out of here for our most recent adventure.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Phil Anjie....please get the anatomical word play (phil-anjie...phalange...the bones of the finger!!! Come On, it's a good little pun. Oh, OK, I'm a jackass. But this is Phil, anyways)
Tropical Paradise....and BEER
So after 32 straight days on shift at the mine, I'm finally taking a break. 1 shift here is 12.5 hours, and most days have been either that, or more (ie a few days at 15 hour shifts). When you are working like this, days become irrelevant and a weekend is not a glorious time to kick back and drink yourself stupid, or to sleep in until noon and then have an 80's movie marathon. It's another day of the alarm clock going off at 4:30am and hauling my arse out for another day of fun with the other groundhogs.
People treat me like some kind of martyr around here, due to the fact that I've been her for twice as long as a normal long swing. The fact is, I have been adamant about being here the whole time, as I have a new research project that needs attention to keep things from getting stuffed up. So now I'm heading out today for a week of R&R (except for 2 days of training for the mine...so I guess 5 days of R&R). 2 of those days will be spent in Cairns, the portal to the Great Barrier Reef and the Northern Queensland rainforest. I'll be hooking up with a bloke from the mine (Dave) who has a bit of a reputation for being an avid traveler, and a full-on party animal. He just got back from a 5-week holiday where he rode a train from Moscow to Beijing, China. These Aussies are a travellin' mob. 3 of the guys I'm currently working with have been on 5-6 week holidays in the last couple of months. The 8 days on, 6 days off roster helps out in that regards, as 8 days of leave buys you 20 days off of site (6 days out + 8 days leave + 6 days out). Pretty good deal in my book. My mate (mate meaning friend...get Aussie-ized you deviants), Mick, went to a big music festival in Denmark, then to Pamplona Spain for the running of the bulls. Greg just got back from South Africa. My mate Scott is heading to Europe in a couple of months with 2 more folks from the mine.
Why do they travel so? First off, under the old industrial relations regulations, every full-time worker was guaranteed 4 weeks of paid annual leave every year. In the US, you would have to work for the same company for 15 years to get that. The rules are changing a bit under the new IR regs, but most of the mines workers will get 4 weeks of paid leave every year, plus sick days, holidays, etc. Now you may ask why there is a shortage of workers in mining with a sweet deal like that? 12-hour shifts to start out with. Second, alot of the mines are fly-in/fly-out, meaning you fly into a remote site for 8 days (or 7 or 14, depending on your roster), live in the mining camp, and fly back home for your time off between rosters. It's a great lifestyle for a single person, but if you have a family that you actually like, it could be a bit stressful. It's not uncommon to see married somen out on the prowl while their bloke is off at the mine on roster.
TRAVEL ADVISORY: If you go to Kalgoorlie, Western Australia, or other mining centers beware if you meet a female in the pub. There's a good chance she's married and her other half would be less than impressed if you are planting his missus.
So at 6pm this evening, I'm out of here. 1 night in Townsville, 2 days in Cairns, then back to T-ville until next Friday. I'll have Monday and Tuesday to sleep in and burn, then mine safety inductions Wed and Thurs (all day). I think Mon or Tues I'll try to fenagle a trip skydiving! For about AUD$250 (USD$185) I can do a tandem skydive from 14,000ft. I get a bit nervous thinking about hopping out of a perfectly good aircraft (as Pops used to say), but it's time to finally tackle that little fear of heights that I have been harbouring for 30-odd years. I won't get a chance this time, but there are white water rafting trips as well out of T-ville/Cairns. Class 4 rapids, 5 hours of white-watering, AUD$150....cheap as chips, mate!!
I hope to post pictures from a ripper of a weekend when I return. Maybe it will be picturesque waterfalls from Crystal Cascades, maybe it will be me shitting myself at 10,000ft strapped to a human torpedo, or maybe I will just be passed out quietly from overconsumption with vulgar words and penises drawn on my face in permanent marker!
TRAVEL ADVISORY #2: Don't pass out while you're on the terps with your mates in Oz. If you are the first one down, you WILL end up being written upon in black magic marker, and you WILL end up with a phallus on your forehead/cheek!
Keep your dial tuned-in for the next installment...and I haven't forgotten the original story. It will be coming. Oh, and if you hear on the news about some American bloke plummeting to his death in a freak skydiving accident in Townsville, Queensland....that might be me! They don't call 'em extreme sports for nothin', baby!!!
So after 32 straight days on shift at the mine, I'm finally taking a break. 1 shift here is 12.5 hours, and most days have been either that, or more (ie a few days at 15 hour shifts). When you are working like this, days become irrelevant and a weekend is not a glorious time to kick back and drink yourself stupid, or to sleep in until noon and then have an 80's movie marathon. It's another day of the alarm clock going off at 4:30am and hauling my arse out for another day of fun with the other groundhogs.
People treat me like some kind of martyr around here, due to the fact that I've been her for twice as long as a normal long swing. The fact is, I have been adamant about being here the whole time, as I have a new research project that needs attention to keep things from getting stuffed up. So now I'm heading out today for a week of R&R (except for 2 days of training for the mine...so I guess 5 days of R&R). 2 of those days will be spent in Cairns, the portal to the Great Barrier Reef and the Northern Queensland rainforest. I'll be hooking up with a bloke from the mine (Dave) who has a bit of a reputation for being an avid traveler, and a full-on party animal. He just got back from a 5-week holiday where he rode a train from Moscow to Beijing, China. These Aussies are a travellin' mob. 3 of the guys I'm currently working with have been on 5-6 week holidays in the last couple of months. The 8 days on, 6 days off roster helps out in that regards, as 8 days of leave buys you 20 days off of site (6 days out + 8 days leave + 6 days out). Pretty good deal in my book. My mate (mate meaning friend...get Aussie-ized you deviants), Mick, went to a big music festival in Denmark, then to Pamplona Spain for the running of the bulls. Greg just got back from South Africa. My mate Scott is heading to Europe in a couple of months with 2 more folks from the mine.
Why do they travel so? First off, under the old industrial relations regulations, every full-time worker was guaranteed 4 weeks of paid annual leave every year. In the US, you would have to work for the same company for 15 years to get that. The rules are changing a bit under the new IR regs, but most of the mines workers will get 4 weeks of paid leave every year, plus sick days, holidays, etc. Now you may ask why there is a shortage of workers in mining with a sweet deal like that? 12-hour shifts to start out with. Second, alot of the mines are fly-in/fly-out, meaning you fly into a remote site for 8 days (or 7 or 14, depending on your roster), live in the mining camp, and fly back home for your time off between rosters. It's a great lifestyle for a single person, but if you have a family that you actually like, it could be a bit stressful. It's not uncommon to see married somen out on the prowl while their bloke is off at the mine on roster.
TRAVEL ADVISORY: If you go to Kalgoorlie, Western Australia, or other mining centers beware if you meet a female in the pub. There's a good chance she's married and her other half would be less than impressed if you are planting his missus.
So at 6pm this evening, I'm out of here. 1 night in Townsville, 2 days in Cairns, then back to T-ville until next Friday. I'll have Monday and Tuesday to sleep in and burn, then mine safety inductions Wed and Thurs (all day). I think Mon or Tues I'll try to fenagle a trip skydiving! For about AUD$250 (USD$185) I can do a tandem skydive from 14,000ft. I get a bit nervous thinking about hopping out of a perfectly good aircraft (as Pops used to say), but it's time to finally tackle that little fear of heights that I have been harbouring for 30-odd years. I won't get a chance this time, but there are white water rafting trips as well out of T-ville/Cairns. Class 4 rapids, 5 hours of white-watering, AUD$150....cheap as chips, mate!!
I hope to post pictures from a ripper of a weekend when I return. Maybe it will be picturesque waterfalls from Crystal Cascades, maybe it will be me shitting myself at 10,000ft strapped to a human torpedo, or maybe I will just be passed out quietly from overconsumption with vulgar words and penises drawn on my face in permanent marker!
TRAVEL ADVISORY #2: Don't pass out while you're on the terps with your mates in Oz. If you are the first one down, you WILL end up being written upon in black magic marker, and you WILL end up with a phallus on your forehead/cheek!
Keep your dial tuned-in for the next installment...and I haven't forgotten the original story. It will be coming. Oh, and if you hear on the news about some American bloke plummeting to his death in a freak skydiving accident in Townsville, Queensland....that might be me! They don't call 'em extreme sports for nothin', baby!!!
Monday, August 21, 2006
Mining for Dummies
I work in an industry that is probably one of the most misunderstood in the world. I can't think of any other industry that carries the deep seeded stigma of being a global polluter and basically a vehicle for the raping and pillaging of the Earth (and soon the moon) with total disregard for the care of our host planet. I can empathise with that view, because that's the way things used to be. I don't try to defend the ruin caused by mining 100 years ago, just as I will never stand up in defense of the White Sox throwing the World Series 100 years ago (even though I love the institution of baseball).
The fact is that once the industrial revolution hit, the world got hungry for "stuff". The mining industry was providing the materials to build the world that we know today because the greedy consumer needed cars, televisions, houses, i-pods, STUFF. I live by one simple creed..."If it can't be grown, it has to be mined". Look around you. Everything surrounding you (even the computer that you are reading this from) is full of minerals and metals that have been extracted from the ground by us "ravagers of the planet". I am currently mining silver, lead, and zinc. Each of them will be found right inside you little monitor screen. Formerly, I was involved in gold mining....also in your computer and in pretty much every piece of electronic equipment you own. I have also been a coal miner. Without me, you would not have light every time you flick the swith on your wall (unless you have a solar house, which I support whole -heartedly). The asphalt, concrete, bricks, etc in your house and roadways have all been the product of quarrying aggregates (I also have been intimately involved in that). Even the foods you eat have mined minerals in it, as well as the clothes you wear (dye no longer comes from plants...it's all mineral-based).
It's quite ironic that the largest consumer market in the world (USA) is one one the staunchest opponents to mining. That is because mining and quarrying contribute only a small percentage of the gross domestic product (GDP). Other countries around the world are quite in favour of mining because of the positive economic impact. I live in Australia, where people support the mining industry because 20% of the GDP is associated with mining. Also, the tax revenues from the mining and sales of coal, iron ore, gold, nickel, silver, lead, zinc, etc have given the state, local, and federal government a huge surplus of money to spend on domestic projects. The export market for natural resources is booming because Australia (a country with the same landmass as the USA, but only 10% of the population) is not a domestic sink hole for commercial goods. The USA, on the other hand, has an import trade deficit of about $3billion becuase the almighty consumer wants cheap goods. We mine it or grow it, ship it to China, and they ship it back in finished goods. I'd rather not get into the import-export issue right now, because that's a whole other can of worms that I have opinions about.
So, we mine the natural resources that you'll find in everything around you. Why are we the bad guys? There are several sites around the United States known as "Superfund Sites". The Superfund is a government fund dedicated to cleaning up environmental hazards for which no owner still has legal obligation. Some old mining/milling areas are amongst the list of Superfund sites. Most of these sites have to do with mineral processing, not the mining itself. Heap leaching pads where cyanide and other harmful chemicals were used to extract the gold and silver, and copper/lead smelting are 2 examples of environmentally harmful practices from the past. These methods are still used, but there is an extensive permitting process and environmental checks and balances system in place. If fact, the environmental stronghold on the mining industry has driven mining companies to other countries because the cost of permitting or severence tax is too high to be profitable.
I am all about environmental stewardship. I would like to think most companies are, but you get the "bad egg" now and again and the public has a loooong memory. What year did the Exxon Valdez crash? I personally couldn't tell you, but I remember the scenes of people washing crude oil off of ducks! It's that mentality that has handicapped my beloved mining industry. Tens of thousands of men and women go to work in mines every day to support their families. They return home safely every night, and do it again the next day. But let 1 or worse, a group of miners get trapped, and it's national lockout news. I feel for the families of the miners in W.Va. I have been a coal miner, and every day you think about how many times it could have been you. But, it makes good news to demonize the mining industry, and every idiot that thought me/she knew anything about mining was opening their yaps to slag the mining company for their lax safety attitude and their safety voilations. I was livid listening the the news, just hoping they would give me and the thousands of other educated miners a bit of info we could use to piece together the situation. Instead, they feed the masses with legal talk and bullshit so that people get pissed off and the unions gain that little bit more control. We had a similar situation recently in Tasmania. 2 miners were trapped in an underground gold mine, and the point man for the interviews was the friggin' union rep for the miners union!! I've gotta move on, I'm getting bent out of shape here....
So where was I going with this blog? Oh yeah," mining for dummies". Since so few of the public really know anything about mining, I though I'd give you a few vocabulary terms to impress your friends with. The list will be abbreviated, but should give a a little bit of lingo to apply in several areas of the mining industry.
Heading/drive - an underground opening used for travel or access. The term is used in both metalliferous mining and coal mining.
Pit- open hole on the surface where minerals are extracted. Used in metalliferous and coal mining.
Dragline - large crane with a bucket used for moving overburden (dirt covering coal seam)
Shovel - large electric or hydraulic shovel used to move material to either uncover ore (or coal), or to load trucks with ore or coal
Stope - underground opening where metalliferous ore is being extracted
Loader/LHD/Bogger - underground equipment used to move ore from stope to trucks or material load-out stations.
Hoist/winder - cable elevator used to move ore/coal or man/materials from the surface to the underground or vice versa
Shaft/winze/rise - vertical or near vertical opening in underground mines used for passage of ore/men/materials/air
Longwall - continuous coal mining method where a long panel of coal is developed and cut with a shearer and shield line.
Continuous miner - coal/soft rock mining machine that cuts material with a rotating cutting drum (also called a roadheader or mobile miner). Used both underground or surface.
Cap/bonnet/bucket/shell - miners hard hat
Well, that's the starter list. I hope you can all sleep a bit easier tonight on your pillow with crushed limestone and silicate-poly filler (more industrial mineral content that you probably didn't know was there). Make sure to leave a night-light on so my brothers and sisters-at-arms can keep mining that coal to give you electricity!!
I work in an industry that is probably one of the most misunderstood in the world. I can't think of any other industry that carries the deep seeded stigma of being a global polluter and basically a vehicle for the raping and pillaging of the Earth (and soon the moon) with total disregard for the care of our host planet. I can empathise with that view, because that's the way things used to be. I don't try to defend the ruin caused by mining 100 years ago, just as I will never stand up in defense of the White Sox throwing the World Series 100 years ago (even though I love the institution of baseball).
The fact is that once the industrial revolution hit, the world got hungry for "stuff". The mining industry was providing the materials to build the world that we know today because the greedy consumer needed cars, televisions, houses, i-pods, STUFF. I live by one simple creed..."If it can't be grown, it has to be mined". Look around you. Everything surrounding you (even the computer that you are reading this from) is full of minerals and metals that have been extracted from the ground by us "ravagers of the planet". I am currently mining silver, lead, and zinc. Each of them will be found right inside you little monitor screen. Formerly, I was involved in gold mining....also in your computer and in pretty much every piece of electronic equipment you own. I have also been a coal miner. Without me, you would not have light every time you flick the swith on your wall (unless you have a solar house, which I support whole -heartedly). The asphalt, concrete, bricks, etc in your house and roadways have all been the product of quarrying aggregates (I also have been intimately involved in that). Even the foods you eat have mined minerals in it, as well as the clothes you wear (dye no longer comes from plants...it's all mineral-based).
It's quite ironic that the largest consumer market in the world (USA) is one one the staunchest opponents to mining. That is because mining and quarrying contribute only a small percentage of the gross domestic product (GDP). Other countries around the world are quite in favour of mining because of the positive economic impact. I live in Australia, where people support the mining industry because 20% of the GDP is associated with mining. Also, the tax revenues from the mining and sales of coal, iron ore, gold, nickel, silver, lead, zinc, etc have given the state, local, and federal government a huge surplus of money to spend on domestic projects. The export market for natural resources is booming because Australia (a country with the same landmass as the USA, but only 10% of the population) is not a domestic sink hole for commercial goods. The USA, on the other hand, has an import trade deficit of about $3billion becuase the almighty consumer wants cheap goods. We mine it or grow it, ship it to China, and they ship it back in finished goods. I'd rather not get into the import-export issue right now, because that's a whole other can of worms that I have opinions about.
So, we mine the natural resources that you'll find in everything around you. Why are we the bad guys? There are several sites around the United States known as "Superfund Sites". The Superfund is a government fund dedicated to cleaning up environmental hazards for which no owner still has legal obligation. Some old mining/milling areas are amongst the list of Superfund sites. Most of these sites have to do with mineral processing, not the mining itself. Heap leaching pads where cyanide and other harmful chemicals were used to extract the gold and silver, and copper/lead smelting are 2 examples of environmentally harmful practices from the past. These methods are still used, but there is an extensive permitting process and environmental checks and balances system in place. If fact, the environmental stronghold on the mining industry has driven mining companies to other countries because the cost of permitting or severence tax is too high to be profitable.
I am all about environmental stewardship. I would like to think most companies are, but you get the "bad egg" now and again and the public has a loooong memory. What year did the Exxon Valdez crash? I personally couldn't tell you, but I remember the scenes of people washing crude oil off of ducks! It's that mentality that has handicapped my beloved mining industry. Tens of thousands of men and women go to work in mines every day to support their families. They return home safely every night, and do it again the next day. But let 1 or worse, a group of miners get trapped, and it's national lockout news. I feel for the families of the miners in W.Va. I have been a coal miner, and every day you think about how many times it could have been you. But, it makes good news to demonize the mining industry, and every idiot that thought me/she knew anything about mining was opening their yaps to slag the mining company for their lax safety attitude and their safety voilations. I was livid listening the the news, just hoping they would give me and the thousands of other educated miners a bit of info we could use to piece together the situation. Instead, they feed the masses with legal talk and bullshit so that people get pissed off and the unions gain that little bit more control. We had a similar situation recently in Tasmania. 2 miners were trapped in an underground gold mine, and the point man for the interviews was the friggin' union rep for the miners union!! I've gotta move on, I'm getting bent out of shape here....
So where was I going with this blog? Oh yeah," mining for dummies". Since so few of the public really know anything about mining, I though I'd give you a few vocabulary terms to impress your friends with. The list will be abbreviated, but should give a a little bit of lingo to apply in several areas of the mining industry.
Heading/drive - an underground opening used for travel or access. The term is used in both metalliferous mining and coal mining.
Pit- open hole on the surface where minerals are extracted. Used in metalliferous and coal mining.
Dragline - large crane with a bucket used for moving overburden (dirt covering coal seam)
Shovel - large electric or hydraulic shovel used to move material to either uncover ore (or coal), or to load trucks with ore or coal
Stope - underground opening where metalliferous ore is being extracted
Loader/LHD/Bogger - underground equipment used to move ore from stope to trucks or material load-out stations.
Hoist/winder - cable elevator used to move ore/coal or man/materials from the surface to the underground or vice versa
Shaft/winze/rise - vertical or near vertical opening in underground mines used for passage of ore/men/materials/air
Longwall - continuous coal mining method where a long panel of coal is developed and cut with a shearer and shield line.
Continuous miner - coal/soft rock mining machine that cuts material with a rotating cutting drum (also called a roadheader or mobile miner). Used both underground or surface.
Cap/bonnet/bucket/shell - miners hard hat
Well, that's the starter list. I hope you can all sleep a bit easier tonight on your pillow with crushed limestone and silicate-poly filler (more industrial mineral content that you probably didn't know was there). Make sure to leave a night-light on so my brothers and sisters-at-arms can keep mining that coal to give you electricity!!
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Livin' Life in the Underground (Literally)
Hello all. I know I have been promising to write more of the Fleetwood Express story, but I have not had the time to get to it. I have been spending all of my time underground...and I don't mean incognito, "on the DL", or hanging with some marauding outlaws. I mean below the surface of the Earth. It's what I do. Maybe some time I will teach you all a bit more about my career and passion.....mining. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so instead of writing a thousand words I will post a picture taken about 2 weeks ago at the underground mine in which I'm currently residing. It's a silver, lead, and zinc mine in North-Central Queensland, about a 2 hour flight off of the East coast of Australia. BTW, it is the richest silver deposit in the world. The top picture is me acting a fool at the bottom of a stope (underground opening where ore is extracted) prior to the beginning of blasting. The bottom one is me inspecting a pile of rock, looking for any fresh fall-off from the major ventilation shaft drilled in the roof (back) of the drive. Maybe I'll make a "mining dictionary" to go along with my Aussie-English dictionary. One day once I'm back in civilisation!
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
SEPPO:
I have received a request for the definition of the word "Seppo". For those of you who are reading this blog from the USA, this definition applies to you.
Seppo: a derogatory slang term used by Australians to refer to a citizen of the United States. The word has 2 origins depending on who you ask. 1) Seppo is short for septic tank, which rhymes with "Yank", which is the other favourite name for Americans in Oz. 2) Seppo is short for septic tank again, but meaning "full of shit". So if you are ever travelling in Australia and someone calls you a seppo, just smile and say, "Yes, I am full of shit", and they'll know you have a clue. I find it to be more of a term of endearment, because most Aussies won't even acknowledge you if they don't like you. Or, they will use the word in association with another clarifier like "f#*king seppo". You really do have to get a feel for the Australian sense of humour and rules of social interaction. F-bombs and moreso C-bombs (cu*t) are thrown around quite freely, especially in the areas where I reside. Sailors got nothing on an Aussie underground miner!!
Maybe I'll take some time to build an Aussie-American dictionary so if you ever get over here, you'll have a grasp on the lingo.
Some useful terms:
"Pissed/knackered/cactus" - drunk
"piss" - alcohol
"hit the terps/hit the grog/get pissed" - to drink copious amounts of alcohol
"root" - sex
"cuppa" - cup of tea or coffee
"midi" - half pint of beer
"stubby" - short-neck bottle of beer (also refers to a brand of work shorts commonly worn by tradesmen - Stubbies)
"singlet" - tank top (wife-beater)
"thong" - flip flops, not arse-less women's underwear
"arse" - same as ass, duh
"bonza" - fantastic
"shiela" - Aussie babe
"bloke" - Aussie male
"blue"(to have a) - fight
"bloody...." the most flexible word in the Aussie-English vocabulary
I'll add more as I go in the dictionary of Aussie-isms.
Also, don't be caught off guard when you arrive and you hear, "How're ya goin'?" It's not "How's it going?" or "How are you doing?" like in the States. Also, you will most likely hear the beloved "G'day"....that's one of the few things that you would have seen on the telly that is true about alot of Oz.
I have received a request for the definition of the word "Seppo". For those of you who are reading this blog from the USA, this definition applies to you.
Seppo: a derogatory slang term used by Australians to refer to a citizen of the United States. The word has 2 origins depending on who you ask. 1) Seppo is short for septic tank, which rhymes with "Yank", which is the other favourite name for Americans in Oz. 2) Seppo is short for septic tank again, but meaning "full of shit". So if you are ever travelling in Australia and someone calls you a seppo, just smile and say, "Yes, I am full of shit", and they'll know you have a clue. I find it to be more of a term of endearment, because most Aussies won't even acknowledge you if they don't like you. Or, they will use the word in association with another clarifier like "f#*king seppo". You really do have to get a feel for the Australian sense of humour and rules of social interaction. F-bombs and moreso C-bombs (cu*t) are thrown around quite freely, especially in the areas where I reside. Sailors got nothing on an Aussie underground miner!!
Maybe I'll take some time to build an Aussie-American dictionary so if you ever get over here, you'll have a grasp on the lingo.
Some useful terms:
"Pissed/knackered/cactus" - drunk
"piss" - alcohol
"hit the terps/hit the grog/get pissed" - to drink copious amounts of alcohol
"root" - sex
"cuppa" - cup of tea or coffee
"midi" - half pint of beer
"stubby" - short-neck bottle of beer (also refers to a brand of work shorts commonly worn by tradesmen - Stubbies)
"singlet" - tank top (wife-beater)
"thong" - flip flops, not arse-less women's underwear
"arse" - same as ass, duh
"bonza" - fantastic
"shiela" - Aussie babe
"bloke" - Aussie male
"blue"(to have a) - fight
"bloody...." the most flexible word in the Aussie-English vocabulary
I'll add more as I go in the dictionary of Aussie-isms.
Also, don't be caught off guard when you arrive and you hear, "How're ya goin'?" It's not "How's it going?" or "How are you doing?" like in the States. Also, you will most likely hear the beloved "G'day"....that's one of the few things that you would have seen on the telly that is true about alot of Oz.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
The Fleetwood Express:
So I find life is much easier living by analogies. For anyone who knows me, they are aware that I tend to use them a lot. In fact, I expend massive amounts of grey matter processing power formulating new ways to reduce complicated situations into matter of fact representations. That's why this lecture series will be based almost entirely on one true-standing analogy. For those of you who are fascinated by literary or grammatical terms, I will be writing with a mix of metaphors and similes. If you get confused, use a bit of imagination (you know that stuff that you use to convince yourself that you are a shining example of composure after 12 beers, but you are actually a belligerent pissed-up mess).
Now some of you may become distressed with my writing style. I am a highly educated technical writer, but I choose to express my ideas as if I were holding a one-sided conversation. So, you will see quite a few parentheses, quotation marks, ....., etc. If this bothers you, get stuffed because I will be writing a 400 page dissertation in the not too distant future and I will be technically written out my arse. Also to note, I tend to use a lot of Aussie-isms and proper British-English spelling, since I have lived in Oz for the better part of 3 years. You will, on occasion, also notice hints of redneckish and hillbillyish. These, too, reflect my upbringing and my various locations of residence in my 28 years or so in the US. If, once again, this bothers you, refer to the above point. I've decided to contribute to this blog to educate, enlighten, and entertain you. If you are none of the above after reading this, I apologise and well whatever. So now onto my tale...
I promised you I would sum up the major theme of this blog with an analogy....
Relationships are like riding trains
If you can at any point dispute this claim, I invite your comments. I could have easily used airplanes or other modes of transportation, but it's kind of hard to board or jump off of an airplane mid-ride, and I like the idea of a bandit robbing a train rather than a hijacker taking over an airplane.
How I see it, relationships are defined by several very definite periods. Sometimes these periods transition seamlessly, and even by surprise, and sometimes it is a hassle and a great source of frustration. The structure of this blog will be quite random, but I will try to piece the whole story together in a series of posts, providing examples of each relationship period as I go so that I can build a half decent case to support my views. I am a bit of a debater, so I like building well-rounded arguments based on substantial evidence from my own observations and experiences. I am also an objective observer of human behaviour. Now I haven't had any formal training like sociology or psychology classes, but I think I have a spot-on bullshit detector.
I'll take a minute to mention the 4 parts of a relationship as I see them, and link them to the 4 definite periods of riding a train. I promise you will come out of this blog with some understanding of where I'm taking you on this ride (if you choose to stay on, but we'll talk about that at a later date).
The 4 Stages of a train ride (and thus a relationship) are:
1. Ticketing (meeting or the "get to know you" stage)
2. Boarding the train (the transition from "dating" or "hanging out" to an active relationship)
3. The ride (the actual active period of the relationship)
4. Getting off (the inevitable parting of ways)
This is the first point where I will invite criticism or comment. Just think about your past or current relationships and you will be able to define points in time that correlate with these parts of a train ride. I guarantee you will be able to (at least once I expound a bit further). If you cannot identify these points, I will tell you why in a later blog. It has to do with the boarding process and how each person in the relationship defines the point of boarding.
Over the course of my story, I will start new blogs with headers to indicate which part of the ride each story will fall. Things will get incredibly disorganised, but that's pretty much how my mind works. Happy reading kiddies.... and Bro, I hope I do you proud!
So I find life is much easier living by analogies. For anyone who knows me, they are aware that I tend to use them a lot. In fact, I expend massive amounts of grey matter processing power formulating new ways to reduce complicated situations into matter of fact representations. That's why this lecture series will be based almost entirely on one true-standing analogy. For those of you who are fascinated by literary or grammatical terms, I will be writing with a mix of metaphors and similes. If you get confused, use a bit of imagination (you know that stuff that you use to convince yourself that you are a shining example of composure after 12 beers, but you are actually a belligerent pissed-up mess).
Now some of you may become distressed with my writing style. I am a highly educated technical writer, but I choose to express my ideas as if I were holding a one-sided conversation. So, you will see quite a few parentheses, quotation marks, ....., etc. If this bothers you, get stuffed because I will be writing a 400 page dissertation in the not too distant future and I will be technically written out my arse. Also to note, I tend to use a lot of Aussie-isms and proper British-English spelling, since I have lived in Oz for the better part of 3 years. You will, on occasion, also notice hints of redneckish and hillbillyish. These, too, reflect my upbringing and my various locations of residence in my 28 years or so in the US. If, once again, this bothers you, refer to the above point. I've decided to contribute to this blog to educate, enlighten, and entertain you. If you are none of the above after reading this, I apologise and well whatever. So now onto my tale...
I promised you I would sum up the major theme of this blog with an analogy....
Relationships are like riding trains
If you can at any point dispute this claim, I invite your comments. I could have easily used airplanes or other modes of transportation, but it's kind of hard to board or jump off of an airplane mid-ride, and I like the idea of a bandit robbing a train rather than a hijacker taking over an airplane.
How I see it, relationships are defined by several very definite periods. Sometimes these periods transition seamlessly, and even by surprise, and sometimes it is a hassle and a great source of frustration. The structure of this blog will be quite random, but I will try to piece the whole story together in a series of posts, providing examples of each relationship period as I go so that I can build a half decent case to support my views. I am a bit of a debater, so I like building well-rounded arguments based on substantial evidence from my own observations and experiences. I am also an objective observer of human behaviour. Now I haven't had any formal training like sociology or psychology classes, but I think I have a spot-on bullshit detector.
I'll take a minute to mention the 4 parts of a relationship as I see them, and link them to the 4 definite periods of riding a train. I promise you will come out of this blog with some understanding of where I'm taking you on this ride (if you choose to stay on, but we'll talk about that at a later date).
The 4 Stages of a train ride (and thus a relationship) are:
1. Ticketing (meeting or the "get to know you" stage)
2. Boarding the train (the transition from "dating" or "hanging out" to an active relationship)
3. The ride (the actual active period of the relationship)
4. Getting off (the inevitable parting of ways)
This is the first point where I will invite criticism or comment. Just think about your past or current relationships and you will be able to define points in time that correlate with these parts of a train ride. I guarantee you will be able to (at least once I expound a bit further). If you cannot identify these points, I will tell you why in a later blog. It has to do with the boarding process and how each person in the relationship defines the point of boarding.
Over the course of my story, I will start new blogs with headers to indicate which part of the ride each story will fall. Things will get incredibly disorganised, but that's pretty much how my mind works. Happy reading kiddies.... and Bro, I hope I do you proud!
Saturday, August 05, 2006
New Kid in Bloggerville
Upon finding out that my twin brother has decided to start blogging, I was forced to join the revolution just to respond to his posts. I'm not sure whether joining the blog crowd at this point makes me like one of those people who still own rotary telephones (a "tad" behind the technology front), or still inside the curve (like when designer knockoff clothing comes out at JC Penneys, but haven't hit WalMart yet). While I'm here, though, I figure I should make good use of it.....
I've always had an overwhelming number of theories about life and social interaction, and often people ask me to recap or expound on something I have said in the past. My theories are perpetually evolving, so I really can't go back to something I said even weeks before. So, I think it best to record these somewhere (other than a handwritten journal), so that I have a record and possibly share the rules of social engagement with all of you's blogheads.
Stay tuned for the installments of "Riding the Rails: The Life and Times of the Fleetwood Express".
I've always had an overwhelming number of theories about life and social interaction, and often people ask me to recap or expound on something I have said in the past. My theories are perpetually evolving, so I really can't go back to something I said even weeks before. So, I think it best to record these somewhere (other than a handwritten journal), so that I have a record and possibly share the rules of social engagement with all of you's blogheads.
Stay tuned for the installments of "Riding the Rails: The Life and Times of the Fleetwood Express".
